15-03: Leading By Example

Who has not served cannot command. ~John Florio~

In order to effectively lead others one must necessarily first learn how to serve.  While position, power and strength may allow for a temporary ability to rule over others, in the long run it can never be sustained.  Only leading by example, with humility and a servant’s heart, produces a permanent following.

Some physically sober members in 12 step programs delight in the idea that with a few months of sobriety and a very casual understanding of what recovery is, they are fully prepared to become the Chair of the Board of whatever fellowship they belong to or worse yet to sponsor another human being.  We must all learn to dedicate ourselves to the pure service of others without recompense or expectations.   12 Step fellowships are no place to get our self esteem met!

Thought for the day
Am I aspiring to be any kind of leader?  If so, I had better get busy doing the routine humble tasks of a servant.
There are no shortcuts allowed in recovery.  We must first learn to be a good and compliant sponsee, work our steps, attend lots of meetings and learn a lot about our disease and recovery before we start passing on what we’ve learned.  Humility is an essential character trait for service and leadership, and like most benefits in the program we must work for it…for humility unlike grace is not free!

And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.  For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. ~Mark 10:44,45~

Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God, got up from supper, and laid aside His garments; and taking a towel, He girded Himself.  Then He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded…So when He had washed their feet, and taken His garments and reclined at the table again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? “You call Me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am.  “If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. “For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you.  “Truly, truly, I say to you, a slave is not greater than his master, nor is one who is sent greater than the one who sent him.  “If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them. ~John 13:3-5,12-17 (NASB)~


About SLAA Tilburg

Wat is seks- en liefdeverslaving? Wij in S.L.A.A. geloven dat seks- en liefdeverslaving een voortschrijdende ziekte is, die niet kan worden genezen maar die, zoals veel ziekten, wel tot staan kan worden gebracht. Zij kan verschillende vormen aannemen – inclusief (maar niet beperkt tot) een dwangmatige behoefte aan seks, extreme afhankelijkheid van één persoon (of meerdere personen), en/of een voortdurend in beslag genomen worden door romantiek, affaires of fantasieën. Er is sprake van een obsessief-dwangmatig patroon, seksueel of emotioneel (of beide), waarin relaties of seksuele activiteiten in toenemende mate destructief geworden zijn voor de loopbaan, het gezinsleven en het gevoel van zelfrespect. Als seks- en liefdeverslaving wordt veronachtzaamd, wordt zij altijd erger. Wanneer wij echter een eenvoudig programma volgen dat voor een reeks van mannen en vrouwen met dezelfde ziekte succesvol is gebleken, kunnen wij herstellen. In S.L.A.A. leren wij de realiteit te accepteren dat wij deze verslaving hebben
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