01-02: Breaking Down the Walls…

Breaking Down the Walls…

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. ~Joseph F. Newton~

A natural instinct, when we have been hurt or abused, is to build walls around our heart, in an attempt to protect ourselves from further pain.  In time, we can become so hardened, unforgiving and unfeeling, that those very same walls of protection, serve to keep out the very love that is needed for healing.  We become isolated, and removed from any meaningful interaction with others.  Does that sound familiar?  That attitude is firm bedrock upon which addiction grows.  That feeling of “terminal uniqueness“’ that nobody understands me, that I am the only one who suffers like this, that if people really knew me they wouldn’t like me.

Thought for the day
When we get sober an then in recovery we begin to see that only by building bridges of forgiveness, rather than walls of indifference…daring to love…daring to care…daring to express our feelings…and yes, even daring to experience the pain that can result at times…are we able to know true love.  Both the love of God, and love of man.
Am I building walls today or am I tearing them down? Am I willing to risk for love or am I too fearful to have my heart broken again?  Do I play it safe or do I realize that playing it safe with my heart renders me incapable of experiencing life fully?  Will I talk to a therapist or my sponsor about this?

Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you.  Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love.  Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. ~Colossians 3:12-14 (NLT)~

Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).  And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you. ~Ephesians 4:31,32 (Amp)~

We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us.  God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.  By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world.  There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.  We love, because He first loved us.  If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen,  cannot love God whom he has not seen.  And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also. ~1 John 4:16-21 (NASB)~


About SLAA Tilburg

Wat is seks- en liefdeverslaving? Wij in S.L.A.A. geloven dat seks- en liefdeverslaving een voortschrijdende ziekte is, die niet kan worden genezen maar die, zoals veel ziekten, wel tot staan kan worden gebracht. Zij kan verschillende vormen aannemen – inclusief (maar niet beperkt tot) een dwangmatige behoefte aan seks, extreme afhankelijkheid van één persoon (of meerdere personen), en/of een voortdurend in beslag genomen worden door romantiek, affaires of fantasieën. Er is sprake van een obsessief-dwangmatig patroon, seksueel of emotioneel (of beide), waarin relaties of seksuele activiteiten in toenemende mate destructief geworden zijn voor de loopbaan, het gezinsleven en het gevoel van zelfrespect. Als seks- en liefdeverslaving wordt veronachtzaamd, wordt zij altijd erger. Wanneer wij echter een eenvoudig programma volgen dat voor een reeks van mannen en vrouwen met dezelfde ziekte succesvol is gebleken, kunnen wij herstellen. In S.L.A.A. leren wij de realiteit te accepteren dat wij deze verslaving hebben
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