25-01: You Have To Want To…

You Have To Want To…

It’s so hard when I have to, And so easy when I want to.
~Sondra Anice Barnes~

You can never consistently do something, when you feel that you “have to”.  Ultimately, you will fall short.  First develop a strong “want to”, and then, doing that which is right comes naturally.  Simple mental assent and willpower will never make for lasting change…it must come from the heart.

Thought for the day
Boy do we hate to be told what to do!  Most of us with our “bull in the china shop” approach to life and our unfounded self confidence hate to hear the words “You have to do this or that!”   Do I realize now, has it been shown to me that the reason my sponsor demands certain actions from me is so that they may become part of my fabric, and a way of life.  Take for example calling others in the program; we have lived in the darkness for so long it is hard to fathom living any other way.  Now it is time to make the light appealing but we must first become accustomed to the light, in this case intimacy with others.  We do that by developing a habit of calling our sponsor and others regularly.  How about reading spiritual material, going regularly to church, attending meetings, working the steps, praying, being mindful of others, doing service work?  Yes there is a lot of to learn, a lot to change but it will be a lot easier if we give in to the concept that we have to do these things until we learn to want to do these things.  It’s not that hard….if we just stopping fighting!

At that time Jesus answered and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.  Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. ~Matthew 11:25,28-30~

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.  And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace. ~James 3:17,18~

A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh.
~Ezekiel 36:26,27~

Abba, it has taken a long time for me to learn of your unconditional love for me.
Many times I wondered where you were, thinking you had forgotten me only to find you had been carrying me all along through my trials, like the story of footprints on the sand.
I now ask you to help me soften my heart towards those who seek to help me and not look at them as enemies wanting to control me.  Give me the wisdom and faith to accept the direction of those you send my way with that charge.  Help me to learn to change and embrace the beauty that can be mine as I participate in my own rebirth.  Then too, I will be able to look at all those who have contributed to this process with love and affection.  I ask this in the name above all, your son Jesus.


About SLAA Tilburg

Wat is seks- en liefdeverslaving? Wij in S.L.A.A. geloven dat seks- en liefdeverslaving een voortschrijdende ziekte is, die niet kan worden genezen maar die, zoals veel ziekten, wel tot staan kan worden gebracht. Zij kan verschillende vormen aannemen – inclusief (maar niet beperkt tot) een dwangmatige behoefte aan seks, extreme afhankelijkheid van één persoon (of meerdere personen), en/of een voortdurend in beslag genomen worden door romantiek, affaires of fantasieën. Er is sprake van een obsessief-dwangmatig patroon, seksueel of emotioneel (of beide), waarin relaties of seksuele activiteiten in toenemende mate destructief geworden zijn voor de loopbaan, het gezinsleven en het gevoel van zelfrespect. Als seks- en liefdeverslaving wordt veronachtzaamd, wordt zij altijd erger. Wanneer wij echter een eenvoudig programma volgen dat voor een reeks van mannen en vrouwen met dezelfde ziekte succesvol is gebleken, kunnen wij herstellen. In S.L.A.A. leren wij de realiteit te accepteren dat wij deze verslaving hebben
This entry was posted in sex and love addiction SLAA/SAA/SA/XA recovery blog and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s