Stinking Thinking

These are the 24 most common Thinking Errors:


Cognitive Distortion Module – (AKA Stinkin’ Thinkin’)


1. Excuse Making: Blaming your damaging behavior on something other than yourself. Also blaming a situation or circumstances for your behavior.


2. Externalizing Blame: Blaming someone other than yourself for your actions

and thus avoiding taking responsibility for them.


3. Justifying: Trying to justify you actions rather than taking responsibility for them.


4. Redefining: Avoiding responsibility for your actions by steering the

conversation into safer or less uncomfortable areas.


5. Lying: Not being truthful in order to escape responsibility for ones hurtful actions. There are three different kinds of lying:


a. Commission

b. Omission

c. Assent.


6. Uniqueness: Seeing yourself as special. As if you are above everyone else. Thinking that the rules do not apply to you. Thinking you are better than all the others. “ guys are the ones that are screwed up, may apply to you but not to me.”


7. Vagueness: Telling part of the truth, but leaving out a critical piece of information because you do not want to take responsibility for it. You are not being forthcoming. You are still trying to hide the truth.


8. Assuming: Thinking that you know what other people are feeling and using

it to justify your behavior.


9. Minimizing: Making your actions seem smaller by comparing them to worse



10. Victim Stance: Making yourself out to be the victim in order to keep from taking responsibility for your behavior.


11. Zero State: Seeing yourself as worthless and bad unless others are reacting and treating you the way you want them to.


12. Closed Channel: Not accepting any information because you feel it does not apply to you. Not listening to feed back from group members.


13. Ownership: Seeing someone as your possession to do with as you please.


14. Superoptimism: Fooling yourself into believing that it will all work out without taking the necessary steps to obtain that goal.


15. Making Fools of: Instead of owning up to ones own fault, putting someone down to get power over them.


16. Fake Anger: Pretending to be angry to avoid being confronted with hurtful behavior. Faking anger keeps other people from confronting you with real issues that make you uncomfortable.


17. Power Play: Using your position of authority to manipulate others into doing what you want.


18. Ingratiating: Using praise and flattery to manipulate others into doing what you want.


19. Instancy: Not willing to go through the process of recovery by doing the work. Wanting everything right now. Not willing to do what it takes to walk a road to recovery.


20. Victim Playing: Trying to make others feel sorry for you so you can manipulate them. Making yourself seem helpless in order to extract pity.


21. If you spot it YOU got it. Everytime I take someone else’s inventory, all I have to do is look at myself and I have that same problem.


22. If I’m not getting along with one person, it could be a problem with them. But if I’m not getting along with more than one person, then the problem is probably me.


23. Catastrophizing – believing that this one decision, event, problem, is going to end my world.


24. Perfectionism – need to be perfect. For reference refer to the Basic  Instructions Before Leaving Earth, book one chatper one also known as Genisis 1:1 to see what God’s acceptible level of craftsmanship is.


About SLAA Tilburg

Wat is seks- en liefdeverslaving? Wij in S.L.A.A. geloven dat seks- en liefdeverslaving een voortschrijdende ziekte is, die niet kan worden genezen maar die, zoals veel ziekten, wel tot staan kan worden gebracht. Zij kan verschillende vormen aannemen – inclusief (maar niet beperkt tot) een dwangmatige behoefte aan seks, extreme afhankelijkheid van één persoon (of meerdere personen), en/of een voortdurend in beslag genomen worden door romantiek, affaires of fantasieën. Er is sprake van een obsessief-dwangmatig patroon, seksueel of emotioneel (of beide), waarin relaties of seksuele activiteiten in toenemende mate destructief geworden zijn voor de loopbaan, het gezinsleven en het gevoel van zelfrespect. Als seks- en liefdeverslaving wordt veronachtzaamd, wordt zij altijd erger. Wanneer wij echter een eenvoudig programma volgen dat voor een reeks van mannen en vrouwen met dezelfde ziekte succesvol is gebleken, kunnen wij herstellen. In S.L.A.A. leren wij de realiteit te accepteren dat wij deze verslaving hebben
This entry was posted in sex and love addiction SLAA/SAA/SA/XA recovery blog and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s