21-10: How badly do you want to fly?

How badly do you want to fly?


“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively. “You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” ~Trina Paulus~

People are motivated to a particular course of action by one of two compelling forces…either through fear of pain or loss, or through an anticipation of pleasure or gain.  It is quite normal for addicts giving up their drug of choice to approach Recovery with some degree of trepidation and apprehension.  After all, we are about to give up the one friend we have always relied on, the one constant in our long lives.  When I first gave up drugs and alcohol in my mid 30’s I never thought I would ever be happy again.  I thought & felt inadequate as I pondered life without chemical assistance.  Would I be able to dance, socialize, party, laugh and in general enjoy my life again?  I thought not.  Then slowly but surely as I met men and women in recovery who encouraged me at meetings and were willing to listen to my nonsense and understand my sickness, I slowly began to see the truth as it really is.   So it is with sex addiction, what we view as a case of heightened libido, a normal, perhaps over active imagination or preoccupation, a constant friend is only Satan in disguise, interested only in taking us to the spiritual and moral lows that only a sex addict can experience.  I do not need to spell it out, we all have been there. 

When you truly recognize the immense reward which comes from change and transformation, rather than looking upon it with fear and uncertainty, you will begin to embrace and welcome change and thereby be transformed…ignoring any perceived obstacles on the path to your destination.   Necessarily, past hurts and rejection, prior experiences, and preconceived notions must be forgotten and left behind.  Any short term discomfort or trials that must be borne along the way will seem a small price to pay, when our focus is ever on the final result.  This is why we must stay “in the solution”…it is the only way out of our predicament!

Thought for the day

Have you been stretched to a new dimension of understanding, faith and belief, where the thought of returning to former ways is not an option?  If not…you have some serious work (change) to do!.  

[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope] That if possible I may attain to the [spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].  Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own…one thing I do [it is my one aspiration];  forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward.
~Philippians 3:10-14 (Amp.)~

Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit.  Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.  You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’    ~John 3:5-7 (NIV)~


About SLAA Tilburg

Wat is seks- en liefdeverslaving? Wij in S.L.A.A. geloven dat seks- en liefdeverslaving een voortschrijdende ziekte is, die niet kan worden genezen maar die, zoals veel ziekten, wel tot staan kan worden gebracht. Zij kan verschillende vormen aannemen – inclusief (maar niet beperkt tot) een dwangmatige behoefte aan seks, extreme afhankelijkheid van één persoon (of meerdere personen), en/of een voortdurend in beslag genomen worden door romantiek, affaires of fantasieën. Er is sprake van een obsessief-dwangmatig patroon, seksueel of emotioneel (of beide), waarin relaties of seksuele activiteiten in toenemende mate destructief geworden zijn voor de loopbaan, het gezinsleven en het gevoel van zelfrespect. Als seks- en liefdeverslaving wordt veronachtzaamd, wordt zij altijd erger. Wanneer wij echter een eenvoudig programma volgen dat voor een reeks van mannen en vrouwen met dezelfde ziekte succesvol is gebleken, kunnen wij herstellen. In S.L.A.A. leren wij de realiteit te accepteren dat wij deze verslaving hebben
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