Tools: A chip on the shoulder usually comes from a block located nearby.


Tools: Air your resentments. Don’t bottle things up, they tend to explode
under pressure.

Tools: Always be honest about slips/mistakes/etc. Secrets grow in the dark!


Tools: Attend SLAA 12 Step meetings regularly and get involved. Meeting makers
make it!


Tools: Avoid absolutes and black and white thinking. There are at least six different ways of considering any issue.

Tools: Avoid addicts not in recovery.

Tools: Avoid all mood-altering drugs, , foods, literature, music, movies, TV. Read labels on all medicines.


Tools: Avoid creating or contributing to chaos and intrigue. Figure out why you want to be involved at all in either one.

Tools: Avoid drinking/fixing/acting out situations/occasions.


Tools: Avoid false pride. Don’t let your EGO overload your hardware.


Tools: Avoid issuing or calling in rain checks.


Tools: Avoid new emotional involvements the first year – you end up putting the other person first and lose sight of "your" program.


Tools: Avoid loneliness. Avoid isolating, an addicts mind is a dangerous neighborhood to be alone in.

Tools: Avoid overdoing it, don’t switch one addiction for workaholism.


Tools: Avoid reacting, be proactive.


Tools: Be accountable, for you time, your money, and your behaviors.

Tools: Be active – don’t just sit around. Idle time will kill you. An addict
with time and money on his hands is a dangerous combination.

Tools: Be aware of your emotions. Get in touch with your feelings. Look them
up in a dictionary.

Tools: Be good to yourself, you deserve it.


Tools: Be grateful and when not make a GRATITUDE list. Add 10 new things to
it every day with no repeats for 90 days.

Tools: Be humble–Humility is not in thinking of your self more, but in thinking more of yourself less often. Watch your ego (Ease God Out).


Tools: Be kind to yourself; it’s about time, don’t you think?


Tools: Be of service to others. If you can’t find anyone ask God to introduce
you to someone who needs your help.

Tools: Be willing to go to any lengths to stay and be sober.


Tools: Be willing to help whenever needed.


Tools: Bookend unavoidable slippery situations

Tools: Celebrate others success. Have a hero. Compliment people you admire and tell them why. Pray for them. When you lift them up you also lift yourself. Become a hero to yourself.

Tools: Change old routines and patterns.


Tools: Cherish your recovery. Honor your recovery. Attend birthday parties!


Tools: Clean house. Get rid of all stashes.

Tools: Define your moving towards values. Decide who and what you want to be, plan and work to get there. If you aren’t going anywhere you are very likely to end up nowhere. When you do not know where you are going no wind blows fair.

Tools: Do a family history. See if you can find out where addiction started in your family. Be the first generation addiction free.

Tools: Do 1st things 1st!.


Tools: Do preventive maintenance. Take care of things before they break down rather than waiting till the break. It’s cheaper and less stressful.

Tools: Don’t be in a hurry–remember "TIME = Things I Must Earn".


Tools: Don’t become too hungry.


Tools: Don’t become too tired.


Tools: Don’t give away more than you can afford to, your sobriety comes first and must be the number 1 priority. Protect it at all costs.


Tools: Don’t take yourself so seriously- take the disease seriously!


Tools: Don’t test your sobriety.

Tools: Don’t try to test your will power – give an alcoholic one shovel and one pail and in one hour he/she will need 100 wheel barrels.

Tools: Don’t use other substances as a maintenance program.


Tools: Dump your garbage regularly – GIGO = Garbage In Garbage Out.

Tools: Easy does it but do it.


Tools: Eat at regular hours.


Tools: Face it! You are powerless over your addiction, people, places and things.


Tools: Failing to plan is planning to fail.


Tools: Find courage to change through the example of others who have.

Tools: Get a home group and attend it regularly.


Tools: Get a sponsor and use him/her. (not just selectively share).


Tools: Get off the "Pity Pot"…the only thing you’ll get is a ring around
your bottom if you don’t.

Tools: Get out of the "IF ONLY" trap.


Tools: Get plenty of  "restful" sleep.

Tools: Go where you get fed, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, socially, politically.

Tools: God is watching, so give Him a good show.

Tools: Gratitude is in the attitude.


Tools: Handle what you can and leave the rest, don’t overtax yourself. You can only accomplish so much in a given 24 hours.

Tools: Help another in his/her recovery, extend your hand, listen. You can’t
talk and listen at the same time.

Tools: Honesty and consistency are key factors in recovery.


Tools: If the glass is always half empty get a smaller glass. If the glass is always overflowing get a bigger glass.


Tools: If the rest of the world looks bad, check yourself out first.


Tools: If you don’t want to relapse: DON’T DO IT!


Tools: If you feel the urge of acting out: pray your knees off!


Tools: Keep a powerlessness list.


Tools: Keep a prayer journal.

Tools: Know that if your insides match your outsides, everyone looks good. Don’t judge your insides by someone else’s outsides.

Tools: Know that it’s okay to be human … just don’t drink, fix, act out or relapse over it.


Tools: Know that no matter how bleak and dark your past may be, your future is clean, bright and clear if you stay sober just for today.

Tools: Know that no matter what your problems, someone’s had them before. Don’t be afraid to share. As a problem shared is one 1/2 solved.

Tools: Know that the light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train, but actually a ray of hope. Drop the negativity. Chime in when someone is optimistic!

Tools: Know that whatever it is that’s causing pain – it shall pass.


Tools: Know that you are not alone, that’s why the "We" is in the steps.


Tools: Learn to listen, not just hear. Be open-minded and nonjudgmental.


Tools: Learn to take spot check inventories.


Tools: Let go and Let God.


Tools: Let the little kid in you out – learn how to laugh from the gut.

Tools: Live TODAY, not YESTERDAY, not TOMORROW – projection is planning the results before anything even happens. Be here now, reach down, touch the ground to remind yourself.

Tools: Maintain a balance: spiritual, physical, emotional and mental.


Tools: Make amends promptly. Forgive yourself and forgive others.

Tools: Make no major life decisions the first year.


Tools: None of us is as smart as all of us.

Tools: PPPP Proper Planing Prevents Poor Performance.

Tools: Practice control of your anger. Remember anger is always a secondary

Tools: Practice rigorous honesty with yourself and others.


Tools: Practice the three second rule.

Tools: Progress is made ONE DAY AT A TIME, not 10 years in one day!


Tools: Protect your sobriety at all costs. Keep the light on you.


Tools: Read the AA Big Book, read the 12&12. Read the SLAA book! Read the basic texts.


Tools:  Rejoice in the manageability of your new life.



Tools: Remember FINE = Fouled up, Insecure/insane, Neurotic and Emotionally imbalanced… Watch the FINE.


Tools: Remember HOW IT WAS. Your last fix/acting out, the feelings, , the hit/high/buzz, the hangover, the consequences, the withdrawal, etc.


Tools: Remember your addiction is – cunning, baffling and powerful.


Tools: Remember, your disease is incurable, progressive and fatal and not a
lot of fun really!

Tools: Replace old drinking/fixing/acting out buddies with new sober recovery buddies.


Tools: Schedule alone time for daily meditation, you are worth it and it’s
your life.

Tools: Seek knowledgeable help when troubled and or otherwise.


Tools: Share your experience, strength and hope.


Tools: Stay as far away from the DRY DRUNK SYNDROME as humanly as possible. Get on to step four and beyond.

Tools: Stay away from that first bottomline behaviour/obsession/fix. Take the 1st step daily.


Tools: Stay in touch with God even when you don’t think you need anything. He likes to hear from you regularly.

Tools: Stay out of your own way.


Tools: Stay sober for you – not someone else – otherwise it won’t work.


Tools: Strive for progress not perfection. Just 1% improvement is enough when it gets compounded every day.

Tools: Take down those bricks from the wall around you; you’ll be able to see the daylight better. Let people know who you are.

Tools: Take time to smell the roses, hear the birds, see the beauty, and
savor the moment.

Tools: Talk your walk and walk your talk. We can’t see where we are going when we are talking out of the back or top of our head.

Tools: There are no geographic solutions to addiction issues. Everywhere you go, there you are.

Tools: Try the 12 and 12, not just 1 and 12 or 1, 12 and 13!


Tools: Try to turn your life and your will over to your Higher Power.


Tools: Try not to be dependent on another (sick relationships).


Tools: Turn loose of old ideas. Examine your rules for life and see if they
serve you or not.

Tools: Use the God bag and the answers: yes, no or wait I have something
better in store for you. Don’t forget to say thanks.

Tools: Use the telephone. Hello?  (not just after the fact but before and during

Tools: Use the Serenity Prayer.


Tools: Use the 24 Hour plan.


Tools: Use prayer and meditation… Not just pillow talk. Get on those knees. Put your shoes under the bed just in case someone’s looking.

Tools: Watch out for the RED FLAGS … things that give excuses for poor behavior and inevitable relapse.

Tools: Watch the EGO. "EGO = Ease God Out".


Tools: We are what we eat. Whatever we consume we must assimilate or eliminate, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, socially, politically.

Tools: When all else fails … just don’t go back to your addiction. Read the instructions. Read the Big Book, the 12& 12 and the basic text regularly. Think about what you read and how you can apply it today. Up the number of meetings!!! 90 meetings in 90 days is a good starting place.

Tools: When in doubt ask questions. The only stupid question is the one not asked. You weren’t afraid to speak before, so why start now?


Tools: When in doubt, do the next right thing. If you don’t know what it is ask yourself what would Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Benjamin Franklin do? What would Higher Power want you to do?


About SLAA Tilburg

Wat is seks- en liefdeverslaving? Wij in S.L.A.A. geloven dat seks- en liefdeverslaving een voortschrijdende ziekte is, die niet kan worden genezen maar die, zoals veel ziekten, wel tot staan kan worden gebracht. Zij kan verschillende vormen aannemen – inclusief (maar niet beperkt tot) een dwangmatige behoefte aan seks, extreme afhankelijkheid van één persoon (of meerdere personen), en/of een voortdurend in beslag genomen worden door romantiek, affaires of fantasieën. Er is sprake van een obsessief-dwangmatig patroon, seksueel of emotioneel (of beide), waarin relaties of seksuele activiteiten in toenemende mate destructief geworden zijn voor de loopbaan, het gezinsleven en het gevoel van zelfrespect. Als seks- en liefdeverslaving wordt veronachtzaamd, wordt zij altijd erger. Wanneer wij echter een eenvoudig programma volgen dat voor een reeks van mannen en vrouwen met dezelfde ziekte succesvol is gebleken, kunnen wij herstellen. In S.L.A.A. leren wij de realiteit te accepteren dat wij deze verslaving hebben
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