There is no love apart from the deeds of love; no potentiality of love but that which is manifested in loving.
Sometimes I wonder if I can give or receive love. When I think about my past in active addiction, there was passion and drama, but not a lot of love. There hasn’t been much of it in my recovery so far either.
What exactly are we talking about when we talk about love? Many of us – and this was certainly true of me – have used this word primarily to describe a fantasy. We imagined that somewhere there was an ideal person who could meet all our needs and make us whole. Love meant rescue or a problem-free relationship. When we didn’t find it, we bewailed our loneliness and bad luck.
Love is not something that is bestowed on us. We can create it, everyday. It grows in each of us as we take actions that affirm our respect and caring for others and ourselves. Love is not limited to romantic encounters, but extends to our daily relationships with other people, including our friends and members of our communities. Love is not in scarce supply. Our acts of kindness and service and our practice of genuine tolerance renew love in the world and in our hearts.
Today, I add to the abundance of many kinds of love in my life.
You are reading from the book:
If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin
If You Want What We Have. Copyright 1998 by Joan Larkin. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of Hazelden.