Love at first sight is easy to understand. It’s when two people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes a miracle.
True intimacy introduces us to ourselves. A loving relationship is the greatest therapy. When we first fall in love, we are filled with optimism and the greatest hopes for fulfillment of our dreams. We cling to all the best qualities of the person we fall in love with and we look past those things we don’t like. But living in an intimate partnership takes us beyond the edge of what we have learned. It is truly an adult developmental challenge.
Most of us fall in love and soon find ourselves in over our heads. We haven’t had experience as adults in sustaining the openness and vulnerability we have walked into. We may gradually begin to feel too vulnerable and exposed. The relationship tests our ability to trust someone who has this much access to our inner self. We are tempted to become cranky, edgy, or overly sensitive. We may test our partner’s love by asking, If you love me, will you do such and such? We begin to try to control our partner so we don’t feel so vulnerable. All these temptations are holdover behaviors from our less mature selves. So we must reach for our more mature selves, breathe deeply, and trust that we can survive while being so close and vulnerable.
Today I will turn to my Higher Power for guidance in going forward, in trust while being vulnerable.
You are reading from the book:
Wisdom to Know by Anonymous
Wisdom to Know. Copyright 2005 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of Hazelden.